Best there ever was.

Please do me a favor. Yes, I mean you...the person reading this right now. Think back and try to remember your all-time favorite memory of you and your Mom. I don't mean an "oh haha yeah, that time was cool" kind of memory. I mean the time when you first realized that your Mom was above and beyond the norm. The first time that you saw how gorgeous she really was, or how strong she really was. The first time that you thought of her as your friend. The time that things changed for you. Do it now...I'll give you a moment....

My favorite memory is from when I was nine years old. My Mom usually tucked me into bed when I was younger and would read me a book before I fell asleep. When all of the books had been read a thousand times over, she started making bedtime stories up. Some of them had a serious moral to them. Some of them were completely lighthearted. Others were hilarious. One particular night, it was time for bed, and I requested my usual Mom story. It had been a long day for her and she kept telling me that she would spend the entire following day thinking of the "best ever" story to tell me tomorrow night. Being nine years old, and me, I bugged her for my story until she finally conceded. 

She wearily began the tale, her heart half in it (give her a break, she worked all day and then made dinner!). But as the random characters and ridiculous situations transpired, the story got funny. I mean really funny. I started giggling...and so did she. I was under the covers and had to pull the blanket up over my mouth and nose so she couldn't see how hard I was laughing. I didn't want her to stop until she was finished, and seeing me crack would have sent her over the edge. She kept going, but her words started mingling with snickers. A few breaks were taken to restore a sense of order. But all composure was lost when the story ended in a bit of bathroom humor, and all hell broke lose. My Mom collapsed on top of me and we laughed so hard together that the act of breathing took a toll. Tears rolled down our faces as we both did that silent, wheezing laugh...you know the one I'm talking about. When we finally came around, she went to kiss me and say 'goodnight hun'. But I think she also meant to say 'babe' at the same time because what came out was "Goodnight, bung". We fell back into hilarity again.

The point is, I remember after she turned out the lights and left my room that night, I thought to myself, "I wonder if my friends' Moms are this cool?"

My Mom passed away last Sunday, June 9th, at 9:55 in the morning. She fought like hell against breast cancer for nearly four years and was the epitome of strength and grace the entire time. There is not enough matter in the universe that could fill the hole that is in my heart. I have lost my best friend. My Dad and I, and the rest of our beloved family, will carry her inside of ourselves for the rest of our time.

The past few days have left me wondering if I should even keep blogging. Should I be posting pictures of me going on adventures and having a good time when my Mom is gone? Is that ok? Should I feel guilty? But as I sit here and ask myself those questions and can actually hear my Mom answering them. "Oh honey, don't ever be afraid of having fun...I am so proud of you, and seeing you happy makes me happier than you'll ever know." That is my answer.

I don't want this blog post to have negative tone, because my Mother was the most positive and kind person that ever was.  My reason for posting tonight was to show you how beautiful her life was. She taught me and my Dad, and the world, so many wonderful things. Her generosity, warmth, and love of life was something that truly changed you if you had the privilege of knowing her.

So here it is, in a select group of pictures. Images that reflect my Mom and what she loved about me, my Dad, and our family. Take a deep breath...

Look at that car! (and those pants)

Total babe.

Played with me in all the seasons....

and loved watching me and Dad play cards.

Always treated my best friends like they were her own...

and was always up for goofing off.

Loved her family to the moon and back...

and loved me unconditionally...

Always proud of me.

Had, and will always have, a man that loves her more than life itself.

Dear Mom, 

If this has to be the end, then I want you to know that you were the best that ever was. This is not the end for me, no sir. I will never stop telling people about you and I will always walk in your footsteps. I will lead by your example and tell my children that their Grandmother was phenomenal. 

It is a beautifully sad sunset for now...

But I will always save a seat for you, knowing you are right next to me...always.

Love,

Lauren